Avoiding The 7 Most Common Problems in a Lesbian Relationship

by | Jul 7, 2016

Learn the Secrets to Avoiding The 7 Most Common Problems in a Lesbian Relationship

As in any relationship, lesbian problems can stem from various places and linger for as long as they go unattended. How quickly you are able to resolve your difficulties depends highly on how you go about addressing them. If you are like the millions with questions about your lesbian relationship issues here are some tips on how to help you break down those walls and achieve that closeness you both long for.

1. Past Triggers

In the middle of a heated argument it is sometimes difficult to stop and think about why you are feeling so upset. Little do you know that whatever snide remark your girlfriend just threw at you could have had absolutely nothing to do with you, It is common for bad reactions stored in our subconscious memory to leak into our conversations causing us to blow up for no apparent reason. This could obviously cause your discussion to head in a downward spiral and may even end up tearing you apart.

A remedy for this issue could be as simple as taking a step back when you find yourself becoming hostile. Think about if she is actually the cause of your negative feelings or if they are stemming from somewhere else. Also never try to settle your disagreement when angry, make sure that you and your partner are as level headed as possible before tackling any major issues.

2. New to Lesbian Life

Lesbian Relationship Problems

Some lesbian problems can arise simply because one or both parties involved are inexperienced or unsure of how to handle their attraction to another woman. This could become quite frustrating very quickly if not brought out into the open.
Take things slow if you are uncomfortable and be upfront about your insecurities. If it is your girlfriend that is distant try and be patient and wait for her to approach the subject.

3. Sexual Tension

One of the most shared long term lesbian relationship issues develops in the bed room. The so called “Lesbian Bed Death” is a term used when lesbian couples go for extended periods of time without having sex. However some studies have shown this may not be a problem at all as women’s libido functions differently than in a heterosexual union.

First determine with your partner if it is an issue at all. It could just be that both of you are fulfilling your intimacy quota simply by cuddling and extended more passionate sessions. If you do find it to be problematic there are many options available by means of planning, counseling, or just changing things up a bit that could drastically change your intimacy level for the better.

4. Emotional Betrayal

Another common problem in lesbian community is one that many girlfriends may not even be aware they are guilty of. Cheating on your lover emotionally is one of the easiest mistakes to make but could also be one of the most detrimental.
Avoid doing this by keeping a careful eye on your actions. If you find yourself confiding too much in someone other than your significant other, come clean and discuss it with your partner. That way you aren’t hiding anything and you can work passed it as a couple.

5. Common Communication

Being on the same page is never a bad thing. Keeping consistent and honest communication is the best way to insure neither one of you is straying from your goal of staying together. It is also essential in learning more about each other and nurturing that forever bond.  

6. Lazy Lover

The only thing worse than “feeling” like you are putting forth more effort in your relationship, is actually working harder at it then your partner. Neglecting your lover’s emotional and physical needs can quickly tear apart even the most secure of couples.
Secure her affection by letting her know verbally, as frequently as possible without being annoying, how important your relationship is to you and how much she is loved and valued. This will scare away any doubts she may have that you aren’t trying.

7. Wavering Friend Zone

Indecision is toxic in any relationship. No matter how long you have known your lesbian sweetheart, if you have been back and forth for most of that time, doubt will always filter in, especially when things get rough.
Be true to her and yourself. Let her know that the constant dashing between love and friends has you feeling insecure. Ask her about the reasons behind why she needs constant breaks and work out together how to remedy the situation.


Attentiveness, compassion, openness, and honesty are the key ingredients to solving even the worst of lesbian relationship problems. As long as you are both willing to keep working with each other, this formula is a foolproof method to happiness.

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