Believe me guys… This little guide might help you get your relationship past Christmas avoiding any discussions on ‘Is that how much you love me? You bought me the cheapest perfume from the drug store at the corner? SERIOUSLY?’
Don’t lie, this has surely happened to you at least once. Therefore, I have listed down couple of NO-GO Christmas presents for your girlfriend, as there are already tons of resources on ‘what to buy your girlfriend for Christmas… bla bla bla…
5. Dust Mob slippers
Price: $2
Hmm: slippers don’t sound too bad, do they! However, I wouldn’t suggest you to buy those Dust Mob slippers from Amazon. I bet your girlfriend didn’t have this kind of footwear in mind, when she was thinking about getting new comfortable slippers. Cleaning the floor while walking around – Even if you put it that way, it won’t work on any girl. This sort of present would be a direct way of showing her, who is supposed to clean the house. On the other hand it’s quite a bargain for that money.
4. Push-Up Bra
Price: $5 – $15
Okay, you might have known that already. Hence, to avoid the entire dispute about her breast size – do you actually know her size? – You shouldn’t take this mission yourself. Either ask one of her girlfriends’ to help you out or forget this idea completely and search for another gift. I suggest you to choose the last possibility – Trust me, the last thing you want to be accused of by your girlfriend is: ‘What are you doing in the lingerie area with my best friend? Are you cheating on me?’ And yes, this has happened to me before … please guys, learn from my experiences!
3. Wii Fit
Price: $30
Okay, don’t try to buy yourself a console and pretend to be a Christmas gift for your girlfriend, which came off the bottom of your heart … NOT EVEN ONCE! But if you consider buying the Wii Fit game, you are automatically screwed (and I mean not in a good way).
I’ll explain it to you… The moment you turn on the game, it asks you for your height measures, your weight and BMI. Hence, if you are the slightest bit overweight, a cute high pitched voice will let you know that. In addition to that the little avatar on the screen begins to turn a little chunky for his workout clothes.
2. Stripper Pole
Price: $60 – $180
This is one of the ultimate dreams of every guy – But be honest, this is actually a gift for you and not for her. If your girlfriend suggests finding new ways to work out together, she probably meant taking dancing classes. She didn’t mean that she will be your own personal exotic dancer.
So unless she is a dancer, who needs a pole for practice or a fan of Carmen Electra’s pole work out videos; you should keep your hands away of that product. You don’t want to start a discussion about ‘Do you think I am a slut?’. But don’t give up on your hopes! She might come to her own senses about buying a stripper pole. Just give it some time! And if she does buy a stripper pole … MARRY HER!
So unless you want to have the all-time favourite discussion about ‘Honey, did I gain weight?’ or she really really really (I am not exaggerating on the repetition) wants it; DON’T even think about buying it for her!
1. iBuzz
Price: $12
You might have thought about buying a new or better iPod for her and receive a similar reaction to this: ‘Aww this is so cute. Thank you honey!’. This would have been a perfectly fine gift. However, you try to spice it up a little bit and search for ‘fun iPod accessories’ on the internet. One thing links up to another and you land on the best-selling music activated iPod vibrator sex toy.
I mean the thought was nice of buying a nice accessory for her iPod, but seriously bro – completely wrong execution on that!