Couple on a dateYesterday I was thinking about how important it is to get to know someone before meeting in person, and suddenly it struck me. You might find disagreement with this sentiment, but communicating too much can actually do you a bad service.


Because you re unable to replicate the way you respond to someone in person. Because so much of what attracts us to another person happens on a subconscious, lizard brain level. You have no control over it, and you just need to meet in person before you can know if you’ve found the right one. Yes, it’s one great failure of online dating. And that’s why it makes little sense to spends weeks or even months communicating via text, email, or even webcam.

If you’ve talked to friends about online dating then you know that it’s a numbers game. You’re going to go on a lot of first dates. That’s just how it works because in person chemistry is entirely different from online chemistry. Even if you have everything in common you may find that in person, the “it” factor everyone looks for in a mate simply isn’t there. Guess who ends up most disappointed in online dating? Those that spend too much time communicating online before they meet in person.

Don’t use the online portion of the process as a crutch. Use it just as a way to target mates you think you’ll like. Then just be brave enough to meet them, preferably for a quick type of date like coffee or a drink. That way you can leave early if there’s no chemistry.

Think about this idea. It may help you have great online dating success in no time.

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