The dating world can be rough-rife with rejection, people still clinging to their ex and bad matches to name a few issues. Our ego is easily bruised and we are particularly vulnerable when it comes to romance and dating. With each new person we meet, that spark of hope that this may be the one burns strong. We may get very anxious, hoping the person will like us. We all have confidence issues to some degree and it is natural to be a bit nervous but when it is more extreme, it can really hamper our efforts at finding love. Here are some tips to boost confidence on that first date that worked well for me when I was out on the dating scene.
Remain Detached
The urge to pair up is very strong and when you are single and currently looking, you may feel a bit desperate at times. You want to find a good relationship so badly and with each new opportunity, we may get very attached, hoping this one is the date to end all dates. This mode of thinking can zap our confidence because we get so nervous hoping the person will like us and it can make us act in a manner that is far from confident. By focusing on the big picture of finding someone but not developing an attachment to the different opportunities (the dates themselves) to get this thing we want, you will go into that first date much more relaxed-maybe this is the one, maybe it is not, either way, it will be fine.
Realize the Other Person is Nervous Too
As different as we humans are in many respects, we are also very similar in others. Know that the person you are about to go out on the date with is probably just as nervous, perhaps even more than you. Just like you, he or she probably has insecurities about certain things, is not 100 percent confident in everything he says or does. By realizing that you are only human and going out on a date with another fellow, flawed human being and not some semi-god, you can relax a bit.
Make Sure You Have Some Down Time Before Your Big Date
Our state of mind determines everything from how we see ourselves to how we react to a certain situation. A more calm, relaxed person is a more confident person. Getting yourself into a good state of mind before your big night out will make you feel more attractive, more confident and just all-around better about yourself and everything else. Do whatever makes you feel good, whether it is meditation, yoga, getting a massage or just sitting quietly in your favorite spot in the house.
Think of Possible Conversation Topics Beforehand
A big confidence zapper may be worrying what you will talk about or that you will not have anything interesting to say. While you should not plan out the talking points for your whole date and conduct your date like an interview, thinking of some things to talk about beforehand may help put you at ease. Think of topics related to mutual interests, your date’s interests that you want to learn more about, interesting information about the movie you will be seeing,etc.. Now that you have thought abou these things, they have been planted into the back of your mind should there be a lull in the conversation.
When You Look Good You Feel Good
There is nothing wrong with wanting to look attractive and feel good about our physical appearance. In preparing for your first date, wear clothes that express your style and that you feel comfortable in. Play up your best features-if people tell you that you have beautiful eyes, slap on some nice mascara to make them pop. If you have been told you look great in green, wear it on your date. If you want to look slimmer and call attention away from your ”problem” areas, there are some fashion tips that can help. Choose clothes that help create longer lines such as tunics, vertical stripes, zippers and buttons down the front. A nice long necklace can give the illusion of a slimmer appearance. If you are short, avoid pairing light tops with dark bottoms.
Kelli Cooper is a freelance writer who focuses on relationships, health, wellness and fashion. Check out Supre for a great selection of dresses and other clothing items for your next big date.