It’s no secret that men and women are often very different when it comes to how they interpret verbal and physical cues. In many ways, we’re simply wired differently. This is one reason why the first few dates are always a little nerve-wracking. It’s easy for both the man and woman to say the wrong things or send the wrong signals.
There are a few ways to make that first date a little less nerve-wracking, however. Here are three things a woman should avoid saying on the first couple of dates:
1. “It’s up to you.”/”I don’t care.”
Even if you’re naturally easygoing and don’t feel the need to make every decision, be careful about saying lines like “I don’t care what we do” or “You decide” too often. Men sometimes take such lines as signals meaning that their date is distracted or bored. Be decisive about helping him call the shots on a date and he’ll likely appreciate the help.
2. “You’re so much nicer/better looking than my exes.”
Try not to talk about your past relationships when meeting a man for the first few times. The same also applies when talking to him online. If he asks you can deluge more details, but if he doesn’t ask, avoid the subject.
Women sometimes want to be honest right away regarding past relationships, but men often see that as a red flag. They may wonder if you’re over your ex yet or why you’re comparing them to someone else already. They may even think that something’s wrong with you if you’ve had a lot of bad luck dating. Remember, men appreciate confidence in a woman, no matter her history. Be yourself and be confident. Worry about your baggage later.
3. “You’ll pick up the bill, right?”
Don’t expect the man to always pick up the check on a first date. If they offer that’s fine, but don’t say anything that makes it seem as though you expect them to. These days it’s much more customary for the man and woman to split the bill or take turns paying for it.
To send the right impression, reach for your purse/wallet when he makes the first move to pay the bill and wait for him to say “It’s okay – I’ve got it” or something similar. Then you can let him proceed and thank him. If he says nothing, offer to split the bill with him. He’ll appreciate the gesture even if he offers to pay for the whole thing.
Actions often speak louder than words, but watching what you say during the course of a date is extremely important. As keen as we sometimes are about watching out for red flags on the man’s end, it pays to remember that they’re looking out for red flags on our end, too.